Angel
by KuroitsukiNoMai
Summary: He just couldn't do it anymore... he just wanted it all to end      Songfic to 'In the Arms of the Angel' by Sarah Mclachlan Slight TsuSoka


**AN: Hey guys! ok, this is my 4th oneshot! I know, not very impressive, considering they were all oneshots... neways! I hope you like it!**

**Now, on with the story!**

**whoops! DISCLAIMER: i don't own YnM, and you should all be thankful that i don't! (Melissa: yea, cuz if she did, it would be so messed u-**

**me: MELISSA!)**

**Ahem anyways, now on with the story!**

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Angel

Tsuzuki let out a strangled sob as he fell to his knees. His hands clutched desperately at his shaking shoulders. All of his pain and sadness seeped out of him, falling in crystalline streams down his perfect face. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't keep up his mask. He didn't want to be happy anymore.

'_Please, just let it end… let it end…'_

_**Spend all your time waiting**_

_**For that second chance**_

_**For a break that would make it okay**_

Images flashed through his head. _'Monster! Demon!' 'You don't deserve to exist!' 'You're not human' 'You should just die! Everyone would be so much happier, demon!'_His hands moved to clutch at his head as memories of him beaten and battered appeared in his mind. Crying purple eyes gleamed as his younger self lay on the cold, dirt floor.

'_No! Stop! I'm not a demon!'_

_**There's always some reason**_

_**To feel not good enough**_

_**And it's hard at the end of the day**_

Tsuzuki fully collapsed on the cold floor. His tortured mind turned to the item in his pocket. He slowly pulled it out and brought it up to his right wrist. _'I can't take this anymore… this will be the end…'_

_**I need some distraction**_

_**Oh, beautiful release**_

_**Memories seep through my veins**_

Warm liquid dripped down his fingertips and fell to the floor, soaking the carpet. He slashed again, relief seeping through him as the warm blood flowed out of him, taking his memories and emotions with it.

_**They may be empty,**_

_**Oh, and weightless, and maybe**_

_**I'll find some peace tonight**_

Tsuzuki heard the door suddenly open and slam against the wall. In the back of his mind, he heard a vaguely familiar voice frantically call out to him. "Tsuzuki! Oh my God, Tsuzuki!"

_**In the arms of the angel,**_

_**Fly away from here**_

_**From this dark, cold hotel room**_

_**And the endlessness that you fear**_

He suddenly recalled a time when he was in this very same position. How long ago was it? 50 years? 70? 100? He couldn't remember. A blurry image forced its way into his mind. A bandaged man lay in a bed covered in dark red sheets, dull amethyst eyes open and unfocused. Bandages covered his head and his right eye. A bloody knife lay next to him, and Tsuzuki realized that the sheets weren't really red; that was the color of the blood.

_**You were brought from the wreckage**_

_**Of your silent reverie**_

_**You're in the arms of the angel**_

_**May you find… some comfort here**_

_**So tired of the straight line**_

_**And everywhere you turn**_

_**There's vultures and thieves at your back**_

He slowly turned his head around to see the blurry form of someone leaning over him. He tried to smile, even as his vision started to turn black at the edges. He didn't even know why he tried to smile; he just did. It was like second nature to him now, His smile was his mask, it was his shield; the shield that prevented his madness from swallowing his mind and soul.

_**The storm keeps on twisting**_

_**You keep on building the lies**_

_**That you make up for all that you lack**_

"Tsuzuki!" he heard again. He squinted, and just barely saw a flash of sandy brown hair and the gleam of bright green eyes before he was swallowed into the darkness.

_**Don't make no difference**_

_**Escaping one last time**_

_**It's easier to believe**_

_**In this sweet madness**_

_**Oh, this glorious sadness**_

_**That brings me to my knees**_

Tsuzuki woke up to a warm feeling that permeated his body. He could feel soft linens below and above him. _'What…? Where am I?'_ He blinked his eyes slowly.

"Oh my God, Tsuzuki!"

Tsuzuki gasped as a crushing hug was suddenly squeezing him. "Tsuzuki! Thank God!" He stared in shock at the sandy brown hair that had suddenly obscured his vision.

"You're alright! You're okay!" Hisoka sobbed as he clutched tightly onto Tsuzuki's shirt. The older man's eyes widened, and he pushed Hisoka off.

"Why am I alive?" he asked, anger and hurt evident in his voice. "I should be gone! I should have disappeared! I should've died!" Hisoka stared in shock as the man continued his tirade. "You shouldn't have saved me! I should've died! I deserve to die! I wanted to die!"

Tears gathered in his amethyst eyes as his voice quieted. "You shouldn't have saved me… you should've let me die…"

_**In the arms of the angel**_

_**Fly away from here**_

"It's okay, you're gonna be alright," Hisoka said softly, pulling Tsuzuki close as he finally let go of his emotions. "You're not alone anymore. I'll be with you every step of the way."

_**From this dark, cold hotel room**_

_**And the endlessness that you fear**_

"Hisoka," Tsuzuki sobbed quietly, desperately clutching at the younger boy's shirt.

_**You were brought from the wreckage**_

_**Of your silent reverie**_

_**You're in the arms of the angel**_

_**May you find… some comfort here**_

"You're okay now," Hisoka murmured quietly as his partner cried, shedding tears of his own. "You're okay… I'll always be with you…"

_**You're in the arms of the angel**_

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AN: alright, now that you've read it, don't forget to review! .

tsukiko


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